I prefer to be fully present in the here and now, with the people around me. Nevertheless, I’m puzzling on something Jerry Weinberg wrote :
“There-then-them is in contrast to here-now-us, which are the problem-solving conditions expert consultants try to establish and maintain. When people are responding to something that happened somewhere else (there), or at some other time (then), or with some other people (them), you’re not going to have much luck dealing with problems.”
I disagree. Sometimes I can not prevent reacting on something based on what happened in the past. I used to be embarrassed about that, believing that reacting like that was irrelevant or inappropriate. I should have recognized a situational similarity in time, then assign appropriate meaning and significance to it, and only then respond.
However, more often than not, it turns out that there is a reason I’m reacting like that. Reflecting on it, and/or opening it up for dialogue with those around me often surfaces things I haven’t completely processed. Reflection and discussion enables me to raise awareneness of it, and eventually change my behaviour (If I want to).
Denying a likeness of a current situation to a past situation, you’re not going to have much luck dealing with problems.