Right here, Right now

I prefer to be fully present in the here and now, with the people around me. Nevertheless, I’m puzzling on something Jerry Weinberg wrote :

“There-then-them is in contrast to here-now-us, which are the problem-solving conditions expert consultants try to establish and maintain. When people are responding to something that happened somewhere else (there), or at some other time (then), or with some other people (them), you’re not going to have much luck dealing with problems.”

I disagree. Sometimes I can not prevent reacting on something based on what happened in the past. I used to be embarrassed about that, believing that reacting like that was irrelevant or inappropriate. I should have recognized a situational similarity in time, then assign appropriate meaning and significance to it, and only then respond.

However, more often than not, it turns out that there is a reason I’m reacting like that. Reflecting on it, and/or opening it up for dialogue with those around me often surfaces things I haven’t completely processed. Reflection and discussion enables me to raise awareneness of it, and eventually change my behaviour (If I want to).

Denying a likeness of a current situation to a past situation, you’re not going to have much luck dealing with problems.

how's your thumb, says one baby to the next (without talking)

3 Responses to “Right here, Right now”

  1. me.andering » Blog Archive » “Debugging” sessions Says:

    [...] Nynke was apparently thinking along similar lines as I was in Right here, Right now. She writes in Bridging by thought not what it seems?: It all depends on what significance people assign to a particular “thought”. And whether or not we need/have an authoritative source to refer to, or work from our own related recollections of experiences which can be rather vague, or hard to distinguish well enough, and hard to explain, for becoming (re)useful in an other context. [...]

  2. nynke.andering » Blog Archive » Expressing our selves Says:

    [...] Our speech will become imaginative and colorful, and our voices full and melodious (again). We can say “No” if that is what we truly want to say. We do not let our selves be defined by other people’s perceptions, we maintain our independence, freedom, and self-determination. We receive guidance from our inner voice. And we can freely pass on the knowledge of what we learned to others without fear of (re)actions and conflicting opinions from others. We can dance the Five Freedoms of Virginia Satir, and more … [...]

  3. “There-Then-Them” / “Here-Now-Us” « Donald E. Gray Says:

    [...] / “Here-Now-Us” I’m catching up on some reading this week, and I just read Willem’s disagreement with Jerry’s thoughts. Truth be known, I agree with both Jerry and [...]